we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
