I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
