Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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