Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
