she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
