it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
