worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
