you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
