you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
