I heard we made out
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
