I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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