We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
