dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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