just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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