Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
