my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
