Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
