The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
