so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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