Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
