u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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