Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
