also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
don't judge my taste in strippers
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize