does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
