i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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