Betty ford says i'm here all night
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Randomize
