omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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