It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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