Dude my mom stole all your condoms
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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