if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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