Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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