Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
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