You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
