wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
