How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
