Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
