I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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