I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
