You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
