I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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