Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
