i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
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I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Less talking, more tequila
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
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Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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