She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
