Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
