The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
this is an emotional support booty call
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.