I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
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I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
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He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.