I think i sorta joined a cult last night
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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