yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
