my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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