Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize