I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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