During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
