Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
