I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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