At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
