She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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