I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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