There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize