Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
