therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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