You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
