I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
