not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize