dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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