I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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